No one can find the rewind button now, so cradle your head in your hands and breathe

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It is a hard concept to grasp. How do we forgive and really mean it. It's easy for us to say, "I forgive you" to someone that has just apologized, but I have found that sometimes it's hard to actually be sincere in the acceptance of the apology. I blame this lack of sincerity on two things; the lack of a truthful, heartfelt apology and the fact that I might not be over it yet. I can hear my mom now, "Get over it, Chassidy, move on. Life is too short." She's been telling me that for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until a few nights ago that I realized it would make me a happier person. Ashley read me a quote from a book she's reading, "Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Ask for forgiveness from others. Forgiveness can soften the heart, drain the bitterness, and dissolve your guilt."

Okay, so I will start forgiving people more often and really mean it, but what about the people that don't apologize? They also need forgiveness. Not for their benefit because if they haven't apologized they either aren't ready to or they aren't sorry. Forgive them for your benefit. When you forgive them you can move on. I've been reliving a few situations in my head for the past week. "If I wouldn't have done that how would things be now?" "Why is he acting like that?" "Why would she say something like that?" or "Why did I do that? I wish I could take it back." The truth is I don't have a time machine like Marty on Back to the Future and to be honest, even if I did, I wouldn't use it. This brings me to another quote I often hear coming from my mom's mouth, "Everything happens for a reason." Again, I never agreed with this quote when my mom said it. I always thought you could control what you wanted and didn't want to happen in your life. Little did I know I was completely wrong. Never will I admit that to my mom, but I know the truth now.

While forgiveness is very important it's not what I need right now. I need acceptance. Somethings happen that we wish wouldn't have. Just accept them.The only thing you can do is take your past and become a better person from it. Learn to mature, grow, and RESPECT. I don't want to wallow in the past, I would much rather prosper in the present.

So, what I really wanted out of this post was to say I apologize for what I've done and I know that I was wrong. I accept what has happened and I will try my hardest to not let it happen again. And I forgive what you did, but I don't forget how upset I was about it.