No one can find the rewind button now, so cradle your head in your hands and breathe

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It is a hard concept to grasp. How do we forgive and really mean it. It's easy for us to say, "I forgive you" to someone that has just apologized, but I have found that sometimes it's hard to actually be sincere in the acceptance of the apology. I blame this lack of sincerity on two things; the lack of a truthful, heartfelt apology and the fact that I might not be over it yet. I can hear my mom now, "Get over it, Chassidy, move on. Life is too short." She's been telling me that for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until a few nights ago that I realized it would make me a happier person. Ashley read me a quote from a book she's reading, "Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Ask for forgiveness from others. Forgiveness can soften the heart, drain the bitterness, and dissolve your guilt."

Okay, so I will start forgiving people more often and really mean it, but what about the people that don't apologize? They also need forgiveness. Not for their benefit because if they haven't apologized they either aren't ready to or they aren't sorry. Forgive them for your benefit. When you forgive them you can move on. I've been reliving a few situations in my head for the past week. "If I wouldn't have done that how would things be now?" "Why is he acting like that?" "Why would she say something like that?" or "Why did I do that? I wish I could take it back." The truth is I don't have a time machine like Marty on Back to the Future and to be honest, even if I did, I wouldn't use it. This brings me to another quote I often hear coming from my mom's mouth, "Everything happens for a reason." Again, I never agreed with this quote when my mom said it. I always thought you could control what you wanted and didn't want to happen in your life. Little did I know I was completely wrong. Never will I admit that to my mom, but I know the truth now.

While forgiveness is very important it's not what I need right now. I need acceptance. Somethings happen that we wish wouldn't have. Just accept them.The only thing you can do is take your past and become a better person from it. Learn to mature, grow, and RESPECT. I don't want to wallow in the past, I would much rather prosper in the present.

So, what I really wanted out of this post was to say I apologize for what I've done and I know that I was wrong. I accept what has happened and I will try my hardest to not let it happen again. And I forgive what you did, but I don't forget how upset I was about it.

Little and womanly

To You, My dear Caroline Leigh Gabriel Bass

Some people say friends are like flowers. I'd like to disagree. A friend is someone you trample flowers with while trying to get out of a window at 2 o'clock in the morning.

A friend is someone that comes over at 11:45 pm and plays 1980s Outburst to avoid an awkward situation.

A friend is someone who calls your parents by their first names and isn't afraid to make fun of them.

A friend is someone that knows that Peg doesn't care if you had a rough night, the shower hooks are 50 dollars.

A friend is someone who knows why Janice's purse looks just like Lila's.

A friend is someone who calls you at 6 o'clock and tells you a bottle of Tequila has to be on her porch by 9 or you are both going to jail.

A friend is someone that gives you a cats pillow to sleep on even though she knows you are deathly allergic to cats.

A friend is someone that cleans your bathroom with you every Friday, so you can go to the football games.

A friend is someone that makes you clean her room, so she can go out.

A friend is someone that is almost as useless as a tree while playing beer pong.

A friend is someone that comes to a family birthday party, your whole family hugs and takes pictures with, and then she knocks a full plate of food on the floor and blames it on your cousin.

A friend is someone you don't talk to for 4 months and one random day comes over, you both cry and things go back to the way they were 4 months ago.

A friend is someone that is mature.

A friend is someone that understands what "Poor dear old Aunt Ethel" and "You need to be careful who you hang out with. Last night the Mexicans came in here" really mean.

A friend is someone that will strip down to bras and underwear and swim in the ocean in the wee hours of the morning when the water is -20 degrees.

A friend is someone that calls the Stop and Go lady and asks if she can pretend to be your mom.

A friend is someone that you wake up next to in your mom's bed, Greg on the other side of you, and Adam on the floor with no shorts on.

A friend is someone that lets you tell your dad you are at their house and when he calls the whole family plays along and pretends like you are there when clearly you are at your boyfriends house.

A friend is someone that dyes your hair the color of a penny.

A friend is someone that perms your hair and makes you resemble a poodle.

A friend is someone you can pee your pants with just having an AIM conversation about Frank and Shelia.

A friend is someone you have prank wars with.

A friend is some that understands when "Two, big, black men" are in the front seat and won't make eye contact with her that it's OK to leave. "They won't hurt me."

A friend is someone that gives you pickle wine.

A friend is someone that knows "Not to give him chocolate."

A friend is someone that knows what has been a rule for like 10 years.

A friend is someone that can get you ungrounded with 3 words: Come on Bran.

A friend is someone that "Can be your friend."

A friend is someone that lets you go to the Authorized personnel only Room.

A friend is someone that hates your favorite green silk skirt and the grandma earrings that go with it.

A friend is someone you take fake "senior pictures" and real senior pictures with.

A friend is someone you throw work fliers away with.

A friend is someone that knows DavidDavideati.

A friend is someone that doesn't like Rob.

A friend is someone that drives to taco bell at 3:56 and buys 15 dollars worth of food, on your credit card.

A friend is someone who drives with your through snow drifts and lives to tell the story.

A friend is someone that helps you get the backpack untangled from your foot.

A friend is someone you call when your house is haunted.

A friend is someone that sits outside with you during commons with Mason.

A friend is someone that Bostater doesn't let you sit next to.

But most of all, A friend is someone that knows the only person that can help us is Rob P.

If your flowers can do all those things, then I guess friends are like flowers after all.

Cheers you're my best friend.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say

A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything and yet nothing being the same.
In one month we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left.

We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.We will go back to the places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become.You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.

Who will you call first? What will you do your first weekend home with your friends? Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What has everyone been up to in the past few months? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people barging in without calling or knocking? Who will get breadsticks at three in the morning with you now? How long until you adjust to sleeping alone in a room again? Then you start to realize how much things have changed, and you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure outwhat you have to leave behind.

In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:30 classes,and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we lived in it for eighteen years. But it is different now. We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know who we have kept in touch with over the past year and who we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real world.

We've had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends overcome eating disorders, depression, stress, and death. We've given blood to help a fellow student fight leukemia. We've lit candles at the spirit rock and we've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being minutes or hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us the most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.

One month from now we will leave. One month from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. One month from now we will arrive.

One month from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end.We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us to laughter and tears over the year. We will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year. In one month we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close.And somehow, in some way, we will find our place between these two worlds.

In one month…are you ready?

Oh Pope Gregory The XIII. You crack me up.

I've just realized it's April Fools Day. Hopefully when I wake up someone will be standing by my bed smiling and telling me that the past semester has been one big prank.

They would deserve a trophy.

Today will hold the potential to be a very constructive day indeed

I haven't posted anything in soooo long. It was a busy weekend with Chase and Hannah. Fun, but busy.

I have so much going on in my head right now that the only thing I can write about are my feelings. I have never felt so many emotions going on in my body at one time. Today my feelings were hurt and they continue to be as the night progresses. People that don't matter to you can't hurt you, it's only the ones you care about and love. It certainly sucks when they disappoint you.

I've decided that I will no longer live by "Treat others as you want to be treated" nor will I live by my recently updated version "Treat others the way they treat you." From now on my "golden rule" is -Keep to yourself. The people that matter will find a way to be part of your life.

I can't take anymore of ANYTHING today.

Let's see what tomorrow will bring.




Oh, the title- my horoscope for the day. Strike One!